He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
