she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
