you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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