This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize