Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
