The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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