Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
