i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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