i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
