Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
