What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
