This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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