So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize