he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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