He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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