I just made out with a guy for $7.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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