dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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