Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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