Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
