I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
