It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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