that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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