Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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