I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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