Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
