I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
