ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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