He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
