4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
