I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
