he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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