I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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