I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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