Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
