so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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