How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it hurts more in the daytime
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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