I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
