you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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