Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
