Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
