I like to think it a success when the cops are called
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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