google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
