I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
