How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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