I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
