just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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