I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
