Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
