I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
