he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
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I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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