So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
