I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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