Pappa wants mamma naked
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my poor anus
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
