so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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