It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
