Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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