No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
