I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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