yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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