Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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