i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize