doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
