You're my little dorito
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
