I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
