She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This is my gift to your gina
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
